-To M

To my very dearest love, 

My light and angel from above.

You make my boring life complete,

You stood by me in victory and defeat.

I love your kindness and your heart,

I'm so blessed to be your counterpart.

With the display of these flowers in view, 

I dedicate this very special poem to you.

Forever together we shall be,

My love for you shall bloom into an everlasting tree.

Thank you once again for entering my life,

To my love, my dearest wife.

-From L

The story of the three little pigs.

After defeating the big bad wolf, the three little pigs thought they could live happily ever after, however it was not the case. The recent economic recession has hit the piggy family pretty hard, and without money, the little piggies starve. The property value of the little piggies' little brick house fell, especially after being partially destroyed by the big bad wolf.

In bid of feeding the piggy family, the elder pig decide to look for work. This is an unprecedented move ever made by a fairy tale character and thus jobs are scarce. The fact that the elder has never work or heard of work before made it even harder. Eventually he heard about this factory named "AirPork" desperately seeking pigs to be in their "production line", they are willing to pay high price. Thinking that its good work, the elder pig applied. He was never heard of again.

Soon, the hunger that grasp the piggy family has caused the middle piggy to fall sick. He has been a good brother, taking care of the youngest piggy while still awaiting for news of the elder brother. The doctors told him its just a flu, a "Pig" flu. The illness soon deteriorated as there are practically no known disease in the fairy tale land and this is the first case ever. The middle piggy didn't make it, and as a precaution of a plague, they burned the middle piggy immediately after his demise.

The youngest piggy, not being able to look after himself, has gratefully accepted the offer of live with one of his good friend's grandmother. That good friend was the Little Red Riding Hood. She told him to go visit her grandmother, and she'll visit a week after when her mother readies the food to send to her grandmother. Unfortunately, the Red Riding Hood's "grandmother" is actually the exiled big bad wolf in disguise and he made short work of the youngest piggy.

The big bad wolf lived happily ever after.


"Leave no pigs behind."

It took me more than 2 years to come to realise this but at least it didn't come too late. Should you ever be confused about your directions in life this is it.

After realising this, my direction in life have never been clearer, passion and love should be left for hobbies, not work. Work is purely for the need to feed your families, to ensure the continuation of your existance.

public void workLifeAlgorithm(Job currentJob, Job newOffer, Passion passion){
    try{
        if(passion != null){
            passion.kill();
        }
        while(true){
              if (System.getLifeSataus.equals("Alive"){
                 if(newOffer.getSalary > currentJob.getSalary){
                     newOffer.acceptOffer();
                     workLifeAlgorithm(newOffer,newOfferListener.listenForOffer(),null);
                 }else{
                     newOffer = newOfferListener.listenForOffer();
                }
             }else{
                 returnPinkIC();
                 returnCPF();
                dispose();
               System.exit(0);
             }
        }
    }catch (LifeUnexpectedException e){
        return;
    }

}

"Save your pleasures and passion for your hobbies, not for work."

The air is transparent,
only when you suffocate do you realise how much you need it.
The water is transparent,
only when you are drowning do you realise how powerful it is.
The diamond is transparent,
only when the pressure is strong and fire is hot will it be formed.

The spirit is transparent,
only when you lose it do you know that you once have it.
The emotion is transparent,
If you don't show it nobody will know it.
The will is transparent,
only when you exert it do other people feel it.

The voice is transparent,
only when you say it then you can hear it.
The warmth is transparent,
only when you feel lonely do you so so much crave it.
The end is transparent,
only when you reached it do you realise how dark it is.

"When you hate to do what you do, it becomes a job."

A pic i drew close to 10 yrs ago

The following poem is inspired by a song from The Wonder Girls, titled: Nobody


Nobody

My life has been in a shade of colorless hue,
I want nobody, nobody but you.
My senses are working but i cannot feel,
I want nobody, nobody but you.
People say i have a forest, a forest of yew,
But I want nobody, nobody but you.

The bill of my heart says that my payment is due,
Yet I want nobody, nobody but you.
The anger is intense, so much that I wanna kill,
I want nobody, nobody but you.
You are hard to grasp, so slippery, like a banana peel,
I still want nobody, nobody but you.

You like to run, and put me on a mill,
I want nobody, nobody but you.
Like watching a show, a premier debut,
I want nobody, nobody but you.
Finally, like a drug, an addictive deadly pill,
Makes me want nobody, nobody but you.

"The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of betrayal."

That, is the moon behind the clouds,
that, is the wind which clears my doubt.
That, is the thing whom I constantly seek,
that, is the thing whom what my life need.

That, cannot be bought cannot be sold,
that, governs my heart governs my soul.
That, is the alpha and is the omega,
that, is so very near and so very far.

That, is gentle and that is rough,
that, is whole and that is half.
That, is sweet and that is sour,
that, is the drive behind my power.

What is That, who is That?
What makes me happy, who makes me sad?
It is not This, but just That,
Simple and pure and just That.


"Do not let people's opinions sway your will."

A online "test" shows that i have the personality of René Descartes, which reminds me of a interesting concept i've learnt during my philosophy module in university.


The theory goes that: What if we are not actually who we are? What if there's a higher power that took out our brain, and place it in a vat, while stimulating our senses through a series of electrical impulses using advance technology?

The "Demon" as Descartes claimed, had isolated out brain alone in a vat, and through various stimulations, is able to let us experience our five senses; Sight,Smell,Touch,Hear,Taste. He would then create a world in which our consciousness would interact in, never knowing that we are indeed just a brain in a vat.

A very good adaptation of this theory can be seen in the movie The Matrix, where humans are enslaved by machines and made to live in a virtual world. Everything they see in that world does not exist, even people that they interact with may not exist. The brain in a vat theory is similar but only limits to one person, and that's you(the reader).

What if all that you see, hear touch, smell and taste are all unreal. How can you be sure that right now that you are indeed not in a vat? There are no ways for you to independently confirm this. How can you be sure that all the people, your family truly exists, and not a part of a program to simulate thus? If the program is so fine tuned as to stimulate all your senses through your brain, everything can be faked.

How can you be sure that what you perceived is as such? Your perception of the colour Blue for example may differ from my perception. How can you know for sure the blue that you are seeing is exactly the blue that i see? Perhaps what i see is actually your perception of the colour Red, just that by linking the colour that we both see to the common name "Blue" we can often relate to that colour when needed to describe things. Meaning that the "Blue" i see might be actually the "Red" you see, but since I've been taught that its called "Blue" i used that word whenever i want to refer to that colour(Red).

Descartes argued that although we are unable to prove that pratically anything exists for sure, we can be certain that ME exists. He proves it though the theory that "I think, therefore I am." In order for "I" to think, "I" have to exist. So if you are capable of thinking, congrats you exists, but that's all you can do. You (the reader) cannot even prove that I (the blogger) exists, or maybe I'm just a program created to interact with you, like in the Matrix (Agent Smith, Locksmith, the lady in red..etc).

You might argue that all these definitely exists for sure since no program can be that flawless. Yes you are right, for the second part. There are many things in the "world" that doesn't falls into place sometimes. Miracles, some would call them. A term given to things that we cannot explain or doesn't satisfy the laws of physics or nature. Most people would see this as a phenomenon, a miracle rather than a "program glitch".

If really thus so, then we couldn't have an grounds for believing in the things we believe, for we are not certain of those. Of course, whenever i say this to people, they'll scream at me for gibberish since afterall, too much is at stake. And so I shall leave this topic as such, to leave room for thought and for rebuttal.


"You only live once, so for once live as you like."

After some soul searching, I've come to the conclusion that there are generally 4 types of people in existence, and I shall explain what are the 4 types.

Type 1: People who you would wish to meet and you have already met.

    Type 1 is the default type of people that we would wanna meet. They are those people that bring joy, laughter and love to our lives. They are the people that we would have taken granted often until we have lost them. They are those that we want to protect and be protected by, they are those that we can pour our hearts out at and those that we are most willing to listen to even their most trivial everyday life stories. We may not bear any common characteristics or even interest with them but we would not have been who we are without them.


Type 2: People who you wouldn't wish to meet and you have already met (unfortunately).

    Type 2 defines generally those people whome you will encounter throughout your life. They are those that sniggers at your downfall, they pray for your misfortune. They are those that appear kind and friendly to you but badmouths and stabs you at the back when you turn around. They gossip about you, acts generous but are actually extremely petty. They don't make you pay back what they think you own then directly but schemes a long term plan to isolate and make you feel miserable, while still appearing to be friendly and innocent. Those are the people wearing masks and those that you'll need to be wary of. They, however handles confrontation very well when you cannot stand it anymore and make themselves seemed like the victims while pushing all the sin to you. They are those that will destroy your character, honor and public imperssion eventually.


Type 3: People who you would wish to meet and you have yet to meet.

    Type 3 are those people that you dreamed about, they are those perfect friends, best lovers and those that you are willing to wait for. You have not met any of them before but you know they exists, they are the hidden Type 1s. The world is so huge that we cannot possibly meet everyone in it, those are the people that you yearn to meet. You imagined their looks, you pondered their characters. You even perceived their weakness and imperfections. Sad part is that you'll never be able to meet them, Happy part is that the reason for you not be able to meet them ever is that once you've met them they become Type 1.


Type 4: People who you wouldn't wish to meet and you have yet to meet (fortunately).

    Type 4s are those that you heard your friends talk about, you hear about them in common talk. You seen those friends that have been victimized by them. You would never have wanted to meet them yet you wonder when you'll have to face them. They are the hidden Type 2s. They are sometimes unavoidable, but once you've met them they becomes Type 2.


How many of these 4 types have you met? Generally we would not be able to expect to meet more Type 1s than Type 2s, since the world is very realistic and competitive. However, do treasure all those Type 1s around you and keep those Type 2s out of reach to hurt you.

"You cannot choose who you want to meet, but you can choose what you want to show others when you  meet"

Sigh... buang my test big time :(... sianz sia..!! arggg!!! Still got a assignment on due on thur and many many more things to do lately... i think its a good time to go for another dim sum buffet liao.

"Time is always there, but there isn't always time."

sigh.. tomorrow going to school again.... anyway found this on friendster, quite interesting

Message:

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help
you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've
decided to install Love. Can you guide me though
the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready
to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I
think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart.
Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other
programs running now. Is it okay to install Love
while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low
Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running
right
now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually
erase Past Hurt from your current operating
system. It may remain in your permanent memory
but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love
will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a
module of its own called High Self-Esteem.
However, you have to completely turn off Grudge
and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love
from being properly installed. Can you turn those
off ?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off.
Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start
menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many
times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment
have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started
installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have
only the base program. You need to begin
connecting to other Hearts in order to get the
upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message
already. It says, "Error - Program not run on
external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love
program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but
has
not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical
terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself
before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then
click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize
Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart"
directory. The system will overwrite any
conflicting files and begin patching faulty
programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose
Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your
Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone
and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with
new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and
Peace and Contentment are copying themselves
all
over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes
awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the
proper time. So Love is installed and running. One
more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware.
Be sure to give it and its various modules to
everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with
others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you.

"Open your heart, you'll gain more than you lose."

Today got 2 tests... sigh.. i think i'll gonna fail them both :( but always trust the power of moderation... i hope... haha

"Truth is in the majority, doubt is in the minority, nothing is neutral."

Too long haven post liao, afraid that my acc will be deleted :) posting to keep alive, got 2 test tomorrow, v.sianz sia, *promise to self* will post again after tomorrow, good luck Tyuio!!

"My guardian angel is on MC, so i'm taking over."

School finally opened!!! sianz x10... well..pack my bags and ready to go. Been playing a game called kalonline lately, not a bad game.

"The reason behind reasoning is not to reason, but to convince."

Merry Christmas to all those i like and all those i dun like.. enjoy!!

"There is only joy when the gifts are well received."

Christmas is coming near, and so are my results, on the exact same day... haha.. hope that it'll be my christmas present, cos i've ask for nothing else, or put it this way, nothing i've ask for so far has been fulfiled. Haha.. Merry Christmas.

"The price of priceless lies in its requirements of not being required."

Getting kinda bored lately, nothing much to do, nothing much left to do. Only wish is to spent christmas meaningfully.

"The reason to anticipate life is not to see what comes next, but to review what has happened."

Super sian...kena food poisoning.... v.sick now...

"You don't imagine having a life, you live it."

Just watched a midnight show not long ago, and this is what i'll have to say: "DON'T WATCH ALEXANDAR!!!" It totally sux man...big time.... boring and more boring.

An interesting article i've found, for u guys out there that often got scolded for being unromantic and uncaring refer to this:

1)Who Falls In Love Faster? A: Men!
In one study, seven hundred young lovers were asked, "How early did you realize you were in
love?" Men fell in love faster. Before the fourth date, 20 percent of men had taken the tumble,
whereas only 15 percent of the women realized Cupid had stung them; 43 percent of the women still
didn't know they were in love by the twentieth date, compared to only 30 percent of the men.49
Women are more cautious about getting involved.

2)Who Is More Idealistic About Love? A: Men!
Another study determined that men had a far more idealistic and less practical view of love.50 Men
were not nearly as concerned with a woman's social position or how much money she made.
More men felt that as long as two people truly love each other, they should have no trouble getting
along in marriage.

3)Who Usually Initiates the Breakup? A: Women!
A group of Harvard scientists vigilantly followed the affairs of 231 Boston couples. Of those who
split up, usually it was the woman who suggested the separation. The men wanted to stick it out to
the bitter end.51

4)Who Suffers More From a Breakup? A: Men!
The men felt lonelier, more depressed, unloved, and least free after a split. The men reported that
they found it extremely hard to accept that they were no longer loved and that she had really gone.
What disturbed them most was that they felt there was nothing they could do about it. They were
plagued with the hope that if only they had said the right thing . . . done the right thing. . . .
In fact, three times as many men commit suicide after a disastrous love affair as women do.

5)Who Loves Their Lovers More?A: Men!
Men love their lovers more in relation to others in their life. Several researchers at Yale University
polled male and female participants from age 18 to 70 and asked, "Who do you like, and who do
you love, most in your life?"52 The choices were lover (or spouse), best friend, parents, and siblings.
Men, it turned out, loved and liked their lovers more than their best friends, whereas, with women,
the rankings were about equal. Many women liked their best friends more than they liked their
lovers!
____________________________________________________________________
So now u see that men are compansionate creatures too.

"To love is one, to be loved is another one, it takes both to make two."

Today is not a good day... i forgot a important task, i cannot connect to the net for almost the whole day and alot of ppl come to me for problems. Haha nevertheless i'm good. There is always tomorrow, though i will not be home till night.

"The grass is NOT always greener on the other side, its just the refraction of the light."

Going to watch midnight movie with friends tomorrow, its one of my firend's birthday. Hope i'll have a good time :)

"If everyone's special, that also means no one was."

Yeahhhhh!!!! Exams finally over :) hoidays now!! Enjoy while you can!

"The end is near, but as long as it isn't here yet, enjoy yourself."

Wah!!! today exam sux big time!!....die liao die liao.....arrrr.... :( well..tomorrow there's more and *Gulp* GoOd LuCk!!

"All that i need, i have. All that i don't have, i don't need. The rest, i want."

Well, this is it. Tomorrow is the start of the end, wish me luck...

"Power is neither good or evil, he who uses it decides it."

Another week awakens...and the "X" nears... time for the last lap, if i can make the effort..haha.. wish me luck.

The dawn draws near,
the fawn becomes deer.
The crimson sun rises above the horizon,
the pale moon sets below the deep blue sea.

The new day has just started,
a new task waits to be completed.
The rising and setting of the sun and moon,
as the nearing and leaving of the night and noon.

Look forward towards the clear blue sky,
be not afraid and be not shy.
Step onwards and don't stop walking,
for the goal is there for the taking.

"The day does not start with the sun rising, but the moon setting."

Having a break now, but its not the end, exams next week :( The calm before the storm is always for ppl to rest up before heading into the unknown in full force. Wish me luck....

"Ask not to be, and be not to ask."

Another day, another night, time slips through just like that. Soon it'll be exam and soon it'll be over. Really dun know why human cannot settle for what we have currently...

"Love is not to be taken, it is given."

The nearer the exams pushes in, the more relaxed i feel. Its finally going to be over, it'll be painless and fast. Oh, and yes, I HATE U! YES U....

"Desolation of the void equivalance the denial of deniance."

Exams starting soon, so won't be updating for a while, got to go for the last mile.... push on...push on...

"Unfortunately, the key to the human mind is locked within."

Yeah.... P.E finally over and i'm able to do all the qns :) Now march onward to the rest.

"The future is always distant, and the past is always over."

Tomorrow's the starting of my exams and i really want to do well, wish me luck :)
Hope that the holidays come faster... need to rest, big time... haha a friend asked me if i were to find a gf in there and i answered him, "maybe... but still depends on conditions, no rush..i'm not desperate....yet..."

"The human will, in itself, is a form of desire."

The days are getting more and more meaningless... exams soon and its still the same. Hai...

"Say it, live it, prove it."

For ages I've been waiting,
for ages I've been searching.
Not to have a night of sleep,
not to have a day to leak.

Where art thou now in community,
where will thou be for eternity.
Show me a sign for proof of life,
or show me the sign to cease my find.

Wherever you're been, I've been there,
wherever you'll be, I'll be there.
Scold me, blame me, kill me if i cared,
but please don't torture me with your silent stare.

Reveal yourself, wherever you are,
life or death is all I'll ask.
Cos for ages, I've been waiting,
cos for ages, I've been searching.

"Sometimes, the furthest place to be is to be next to yourself."

I hate friday!!! wake up at 5.30 am...... got test somemore......haiiiiii.....sigh.....

"An Enemy in need is an enemy indeed!"

Finally.. getting a breath of freedom...before locking down in work again.

"Sometimes, being unreasonable is a form of logic."

Wohoo.... test finally over...time to relax a bit... haha then exam :(
Work hard and good luck!

"I may be oblivious to certain things at certain time, but I'm not blind, deaf or mute."

Test tomorrow... still cannot get my mind to work properly, Hmmm.... i got really bad memory i guess, can't help it. My brain works differently from "normal" people i guess, haha... if you ever read my blogs, that is, if it is ever read, then you'll see......

"The human mind is a terrible thing to waste, why not give it to me then."

Test coming soon...very soon...gotta study.

"No fear can surpass the fear of bring fearless."

Really tired today... dun feel like saying much... Nitez..

"The mind is only a repersentation of one's feelings."

Feel like eating satay today..haha but did not go to eat. Hope tomorrow can do better.

"Rome wasen't built in one night, and so am I."

The pace of life is getting faster,
like the river of flowing water.
I'm like a leaf that has dropped,
swept by the water from the mountain top.

Following through the bank I see fishes,
striving upstream back to their nests.
None of them will ever stop to look,
their lives are like a neverending loop.

Stop for a while and take a break,
rest your mind and rest your legs.
Stop for the wind and the falling leaves,
and enjoy the calm, and the gentle breeze.

"You know that you are going too fast when your feet dosen't touch the ground anymore."

Exams are pushing nearer and nearer, and I'm not confident at all about it.... Everything seems so difficult and friends are scarce at this point of time, funny though, there are so many people studying the same subject as I am yet i cannot find any trustworthy friends...they all seemed extremely selfish and proud of themselves... hmmm...

"When I was alive, many walked with me into the city of gold, and now, I'll have to walk the path of the dead by myself. I walk alone."

Another day has passed, and my life has just been shorten by another day....so boring....hope something interesting will happen tomorrow. ~_~

"I can feel your fear, hear your cries and experience your pain, but I'm not here to share your sadness, I'm here to bring you out of it."

Monday = start of week = boring.....
Hai.....exams pushing nearer and nearer...so stressful...haha...hope to have a better exam than my mid terms.
Good luck.

"In time to come, we'll see the future. But for now, the present is a gift good enough."

Today went out for movie and dim sum buffet...wow had a good time.
Watched Resident Evil, was quite nice, and the dim sum was still that good.

"In order to follow the heart, one must be prepared to do the wrong things."

As time passes and people ages,
feelings changes and life changes.
But in my heart there's a feeling,
stay's same for nearly all eternity.
Like old friends on a lighted road,
like a dream in a land of hope.

All the lights seemed so familiar,
all the sights I hold so dear.
The sounds of a distant street,
I've been there, I knew I did.
Nostalgic lights and the soothing smell,
too much like a dream that I've found.

Land of past, memories of past,
comes back to me all at last.
How I wish I would again be there,
to the place I couldn't bear.
To stay there and rediscover me,
for all the time, for eternity.

"Some things you most wished for are those you've once had."

Hai...haha, so long never update already... sorrie...too busy lah..
will promise to update more often...cross my heart.

"生死由我定,命運令天行. "

Life is full of uncertainties, questions and puzzles. It may be due to those uncertainties that life is interesting, yet stressful. People are curious about unfamiliar things around them, they tried to understand them, percieve them and perhaps one day, conquer them.

The world that we live in is full of those unfamiliar things, mankind create more of those things as we strives to advance in our world, our technology and our lives. People create new theories, inventions and perhaps even religious viewpoints, its made the society we lived in so confusing at times, yet amazing at other.

To understand this "world" that we lived in, we must first understand ourselves, the mankind. What is it that we want? We seemed to be in forever pursude of something that we are unsure of, is it money, fame, power or just another reason to live on? We are now living for the sake of living but what's the real reason for our eternal battle for survival?

My guess is to wait, we live on so as to wait, don't you think so. We are always waiting, but yet we do not know what we really are waiting for. Perhaps for the day when the rest of the human brain can be fully utilised, for now we only used a small portion of it. Perhaps the creator has intention for human to wait for the day that all answers will be revealed, the point of time where there are no more questions left to ask.
So as for now, all we can do is to get on with our lives, while we wait in silence and unknowingly slowly revealing the "Truth". Let us wait, let us wait...

"If there's no answer to a question, then it is not even a question."

I just did my bidding ... man that was hard, stressful and irritating...gotta rest...

"It is not how you do it, but who you did it with."

Been real busy lately...off to school really soon..
Get back soon...
"If i have err, forgive me, If i have sin, redeem me, If i have cared, love me."

Friends are like the wind,
you can feel them but not necesary see them.
They stirr you up when you are bored,
cools you down when you need to be coxed.

Friends are like koala bears,
they don't move much yet they hug tightly.
They are quiet and lends a listening ear,
all secrets you whispered they will hear.

Finally friends are like chocolates,
sweet to taste and gives energy.
Treasure them as you treasure love,
for all they give is pure as dove.

"when you are lost, just follow your heart, you may be wrong, but at least you won't regret."

Boring day, waiting for my matriculation package to arrive so i can get along with my life soon. Seriously in need of friends to go out with and kill time now.

"Name refers to an individual, character defines it."

YES! ORD loh!!!... happy and sad...i really dun know how to sum up my feelings..haha... perhaps in a quote.

"I'm always clear about the future, but now it is like a dark highway. We have entered uncharted territory, making up future as we move along." :Sarah Connor, Terminator 2

WOOOOO!! ORD tomorrow.....haha...mixed feelings..haha.

"There's always a tomorrow after tomorrow, so don't hesitate anymore."

Sad...sad...sad...can't say why, dun know why, dun ask why.

"You knows what's love without realising it and you realises what's hate without knowing it."

Went back to camp to pack my bags today...wow...i really got a LOT of stuff...and i bought 3 pairs of shoes..haha...got letter from NUS, should be responding soon.

"Life can never be a thing of the past, as long as you're still living it."

Long time never put up poem liao..so here it goes:

Whenever lightning shows and thunder roars,
rain will follow shortly behind.
When the winds blow and the tide gets high,
rain will follow shortly behind.
When i'm depressed and asking why,
rain will follow shortly behind.

Rain, the nature of life,
never be yours, never be mine.
As the raindrops fall from the sky,
how i wished i could stop time.
When the world is sad and hope is scarce,
rain will follow shortly behind.
But as the harsh rain falls upon the world,
The rainbow is always shortly behind.

"You cannot lose what you did not have."

Watched Crayon Shin Chan the movie...wow it was great! I've got news that my NS has been cut to ord in 30th June, which was something good but not great cos i'm clearing leave anyway and its gonna eat into a few months of my pay...what am i gonna do without $$?...bad...bad...

"Life is a surprise, and so is death."

Today i went to watch Harry Potter with my good friend, boy have i not enjoyed such a gathering for quite some time already. It was a good movie and we had generally a nice day.

"Push apart the clouds and you'll see the stars, look beyond the stars and you'll find yourself."

Visited my friend yesterday, glad to know he's fine and should be able to be discharged on Monday. Went out with friends later and bought some clothes and a necklace. I wonder if its tired or other things that i often dreamed of being chased around, usually for long distances and that really tires me out even more.

"Dreams or reality? I'm really tired of initiating."

Today went out with some friends for a dim-sum buffet..it was really good, i haven't had it for such a long time, found out that one of my friend is going for a operation tomorrow.. i really hope the best for him as i cannot afford to lose another friend again, love always. Going to see him once its over.

"Do not let others define you, define yourself."

Going for dental tomorrow...haha...hope can pass ^_^, maybe going out with friends for a dim sum buffet later in the day, long time never went for that already. Hope to meet up and have a nice chat.

"I have nothing more, other than myself."

Today i went to visit my uncle at the hospital. He was warded due to low heart beat. He seemed fine and should be able to get out of there soon. I'm happy for him that nothing happened to him. Today was quite tiring and seemed that alot of stuff is going to come up soon...i just got the feeling. Nitez.

"Do not fear the dark, fear what's in the dark."

An interesting story i got from a website.
-------------------------------------------
Little Led Liding Hoot (M'sian and Singlish ver)

Once upon a time hor, got one girl little led liding hoot. She want
to go to Ah Mah's house. Morning alleady she go out one, she got take come
one basket to put flower. She "do want" to walk long-long so go take shot
cut. Wah!!! she dono got one animal follow her one hor! She happy-happy
walk until she come to Ah Mah house.
"Ah Mah! Ah Mah! I come, open the door leh?" she talk
Then Ah Mah also talk back, "Come in lah I never close one" Little
Led Liding Hoot open the house and go inside door..... oh, solly solly....
open the door and go inside the house, she got see her Ah Mah on top of the
bed. She go ask Ah Mah.
"AH Mah, how come your eye vely big one hor?"
"So I can see you maahhhhh!!!" Ah Mah say back.
"Ah Mah, how come your yearvely long one?"
"So vely easy to hear you one laah!!!!"
"Ah Mah, how come......."
"Aiyaa!!!! SO many question one ah you.... never die before heh?"
"Solylah Ah Mah, I dono mah that's why I ask".
"What soly-soly! Now I want to eat you, I not Ah Mah, I animal one you know................."
Wah! Little led liding Hoot vely scared one, she scleam velyloud but
late alleady, the animal alleady eat her. She now inside stomach one.
Suddenly got one people, cut wood one, go inside the house. He want to save
Little Led Liding Hoot, he go and cut the animal stomach and take out
everything, but he too late, Little Led
Liding Hoot become shit alleady............

Poetry time!

Snow falls and the land freezes over,
nature sleeps and people walks on water.
White is snow and pure is the soul,
angels of the land bearing the cold.

Kids play and snow rabbits sing,
snowflakes fall with every hymn.
One by one, they reached the ground,
one by one, as the children count.

Winter is nice and plays a enchanting part,
for people here to show their warming heart.
It is then the sleeping land awakes,
to smile again, when the day breaks.

"I do not wake up into a dream, but into the reality."

Watched Van Hellsing yesterday...finally. Its was pretty good and i didn't fall asleep.
Its nice to sometimes sit down with a couple of friends and chit chat, you'll never know what you will get out of it.... Haha...been tired lately. Off to rest, will blog when i have more energy.

"Life is short, but ample."

Near to dawn the performers awake,
performing the characters they fake.
Life of the opera is such as seem,
time passes by with every blink.

At the backstage they removed their masks,
return to life to put on another one.
Life is full of deception and man in mask,
there's no way to have complete trust.

Trust in friends and trust in love,
for these are the purest, like the dove.
Be most prepared to step outside,
and show the world what's true inside.

"Life is 1% preparation and 99% presentation."

Today, my friend called me to go watch a movie: "The day after tomorrow"....i wanted very much to go but happened to be not able to make it in time......which sets me thinking, what's time?

Time, as defined in dictionary: "the continuum of experience in which events pass from the future through the present to the past". It is a measure of the experience we went through or the events that happened. Let's say, from a coma patien's point of view, time is simply the period of events he experience from his birth from the moment he is in coma, for when he wakes up, his memory would only continue from that point, he may be phyically 30 yrs old but his mind is only that of 15 or at whatever moment he hits coma.
Time is relative, according to Einstein, and whatever is relative is just as inaccurate as its referral, lets say if time stops now for the world, except for one person, for about 2 years, everything is in a standstill, including celestrial movements, then when time reverts back, the whole world would have thought that nothing happened, except for the one person that has experience it. Time, to the world, is just as normal and moves on like it should be. You may want to question, how could the time just stopped? It is said that during an absolute zero, a temperature of -273 deg Celsius, everything would have stopped moving, including atoms and the electron obiting them, everything would have freezed and without doubt, the universe would too. The big bang had managed to keep most of the universe approximately 3 deg above Kelvin, but how do we know if when or where are we hit by absolute zero? Time, in that case, dosen't seemed to be moving.

By scientific theories, time is like a line, and it bends around bodies of great masses, like the planets. This line connects the entire universe, but a singularity (black hole) would break this line, and could join it back with any other part of the line, thus creating a theory of "time travel". Yes, in theory we could do that, not only can we determine when we want to come out, but also where. But then again, we have not found a way in which we could go into a singularity safely. So time seems quite boring for us to talk about at the moment. Can we control time? Can we travel through it, or can we bent it to suit our needs? Only time will tell.

"When you have passed a stage of your life, don't stop to look back, time does not wait for you, yet."

Just another day, nothing much happened and i dun think anything much will happen.
Been trying to get my hands on the new game "Counter-strike : Condition Zero", wonder if condition zero is better or half-life 2?...haha but its okay, since i got no $$ for either one of them.
So what to do? i watched southpark lor...got new season out liao...season 8...quite interesting and just some brainless entertainment. End off boring day.

"If you cannot even summon the courage to tell me that you liked me, then i don't think you will have the courage to love me either."

Today...another boring day...juz found out that clearing off/leave can be quite boring too...haha (never imagine that i would say that), but i quite enjoyed this kind of peace.. no need to rush and no need to worry bout anything other than what's for lunch.

Currently trying to gather friends to go and watch movie, Van Hellsing (i know its a bit late to catch it), and maybe Shrek 2 over this weekends. Problems aries when NUS sent me the letters of admission and i'm stuck on how to pay for my school fees(tution fees they called it), whether by bank loan, by CPF, or go rob a bank...hmmmm...hard to decide.
Nevermind bout that, i'll worry bout' that when the time comes..hee hee.. ^_^

"A Brave man is not one who has no fears, but one who Conquers it."

The black envelopes the heart,
the darkness consumes the soul.
Emptiness fills the void,
and the souless seeks for redemption.

Forth, the light shines,
but back, I retreat from it.
Not to have a night of sleep,
So as it be, as long as it could be.

Break from the fate, disect thy destiny,
move on with thy own four limbs.
For fate does not lie in thy genes,
But in thy hands.

"The cowardly accepts his destiny, the brave denied it."

Yes!!! Finally clearing my off/leave till my ORD...Whahaha....but i'm starting to get bored now cos suddenly got too much time on my hands, but nevermind, i'll think of something to do. In the meanwhile, i've gotten the letter from NUS to settle my matriculation and my fees...what a headache! I've got no idea what to do. But nevermind, i'll get to the point when the time comes.

"To be someone else is easy but to be yourself, is hard."

Been real busy lately, hardly any time for a breather and phew...it's finally gonna be over soon...will be clearing soon and should be able to update my blog almost everyday instead of once a week.
My friend just intro me to an new album by F.I.R and i think it's not bad so been wondering where to get it other than HMV (it costs $30++ there!).
Haha...been real tired lately so is trying to catch a movie next weekend, hopefully "Van Hellsing" with some friends. K lah... end off for now and good luck to me!

"I can put you into power like a chess piece, move you around like a pawn and simply remove you from the game when your worth is up."

Tomorrow is Mothers' Day..... and i dont know what to buy for my mom!.. Now in a headache as not much time is left.

As I slowly decend from the heavenly skies,
to the many voices of the babys' cries.
Who to choose and who to be,
the spirit of the unborn me.

This moment i saw a beautiful maiden,
using all the strength she had given.
Pushing the infant from the womb,
like budding flowers that's in bloom.

So i went and gave a try,
let her be a mother and soon be mine.
The roaring cries of the newborn boy,
that is me and that is I!


Happy Mothers' Day.

"I won't be tempted by the devil, because he got nothing to give me."

Happy Labor Day! Went to the NUS checkup yesterday, wow, I was swamped by lots of students promoting their "clubs" and other activities they're having. Looks like i'm gonna have a busy time when i get in.

Hmmm...i'm tired, got lots of work to do lately and they seemed neverending, but its ok...as long as i get what i wanted in the end. Dun feel like toking much today...must rest more liao...k cya.

"Ask for too much and you won't be satisfied, ask for too little and you have no rights"

Today...heavy rain...was drenched totally. The days are getting by slower and slower as it nears my ORD date...dunno y but maybe its the "theory of relativity". Haha... enough for now... now for a poem by yours sincerely.

Admist the darkness that covers the night there's always a window for light,
through the window links another brighter and fairer alternate side.
In this realm there's hope, love and light, in this land that's also white,
So undoubtly different and yet so much alike, land of both sights.
In this realm roams the death, in that realm roams the life,
in this realm we see the end and in the other eternity spans.

Not to fear what you cannot see but fear what you will be,
for it is easy to cross from one side to another, with or without knowing.
Hold truth to your belief and persist your dreams, you will see and you will be.
Take the step from the dark to the light, from one to the other side,
the window might be vague but the vision is clear, that window shalt not be closed.
For it is the window of hope, thou asked for it and thou shall receive it.

For all those victims of the recent incidents
"It is NOT who you asked to be, it is who you WANT to be"

Today: Rain, dark rain.

My pay just got cut this month.....sianz...

Makes me think again...
What is the value of money?
What is money? Is it a form of wealth? Or is it just an illusion?

Money begins from ages ago, maybe even earlier. Prehistoric people uses rare gems and huge rocks to represent money, in order to get what they want, e,g fish, meat, skin. But before money exists, people uses trading to exchange for what they need, 2 fish for a chicken etc. But that is not a standard way of trading, people need to standardise the "value" of their belongings, so a "universal" item was invented, money!

From then on, people use "money" to trade for other things they desire and ti diversify, different countries have different "currency" and that lead to old system of trading again...stupid...changing money for money so they can change it again for items...haha. It is also this "money" that caused the human nature to once again decline. Greed and the thirst for money led to many crimes against human nature, even fathers (those in churches) can forsake the belief for $5m.

There's a saying "money is the root of all evil", I must agree to it in some sense that a tiny printed piece of paper can bring about so much changes (i really must admire the one who invented it), think about this, we're all controlled by pieces of paper that might not even have worth, why do i say that?
What is worth? Worth is something universally recognised, money is not. Animals don't recognise money but they recognise food, fish, fruits, and human too recognise them cos its the ultimate things they'll need, they can't survive without food but can without money. You can lots of gold but still starved to death. Think of stranded on an islolated island without money and you'll know what's worth. Worth are things we must have in direct order to survive, we can't eat or breath money, we trade money for food and maybe in future, even the air we breath.

So as a conclusion, although we are simply too dependent on that paper, we still must know what we basically need in order to move on, God made fruits and berries but he did not make money cos he know we do not need it to survive. Haha...so much for now. END.

"Value what you have and don't crave for what you don't, because you can't miss what you never had"

Har... rest and relax...actually is nua lah...haha
After 2 poems, are you ready for more "theory"? ^_^, actually i dun care, here goes:

The art of deception: by myself...not totally accurate but it'll get u through.
How to tell when someone is telling the truth and lie.
Lie:
1) Flushed look
2) Lack of confidence in speech/ self contradicting at times
3) Timid, soft spoken cos they know its not the truth and they cannot summon the courage to say it boldly
4) Look at his eyes, shifty eyes and not daring to look at you directly is a sign of evading
5) Look out for repetative, small movements, e.g. crossing legs, shifting legs, playing with fingers etc.
6) Liers have fast heartbeats, sometime breathless and blurring of speech
7) Excessive sweating

*skip the truth part, its just opposite of the "lie" portion.

How to lie cleverly:
1) Look into target's eyes, give a firm look.
2) Speak with slightly higher volume, using a strong/ "as a matter of fact" tone
3) DO NOT make small movements, cross your arms if necessary
4) Speak harshly if needed, do not abuse it or it'll be suspicious
5) Do not mumble, startle or stutter.
6) You cannot/hard to control your heartbeat so always stay calm, think of blue things like the sea (it helps really)
7) Say things that are true to both parties to initiate trust and confidence, e.g. "I believed you also know that...so that's why I...can't you see my point?"
8) NEVER, I say again, NEVER give in, cos "the truth is never wrong" and you must obey this rule, it's the most important, how you suppose to convince someone if you cannot convince yourself and admit to all the "crimes".

That's all for the time being, for "higher" level of deception, email me or something.

"Believe and you will succeed, disbelieve and you will fall"

Love Is...

Love is the liking for another guy,
The feeling of touching the sky.
Love is the starting of a relationship,
In which the dejected would certainly weep.
Love is the seed of marriage,
Where couple need not live in a remote village.
Love is the excuse for romance,
Where under the stars is where you dance.
Finally love is having mutual respect,
Or otherwise you would regret !

------------------------------------------------------
Haha...too bored liao...write stupid poems...enjoy

Poem for the day:

Night, the birds are sleeping, the moon is creeping,
The flowers closes their petals and the the bees returns to the hive.
It is then the elves comes out to play amongst the stars,
Forest as their stage and fireflies danced through the night sky,
One by one, they sang an ever enchanting melody.

The faries appears and spread their glow,
Gnomes riding on ladybirds and sprites leap from flower to flower.
The night is ever lively and the silence is by itself a melody,
With the bright moon and the twinkling stars that lit the sky,
It is always ever so nice with the polar lights.

It is then on this night that I've seen the beauty,
Dancing faries and singing sprites.
Night is the time to play and make merry,
For all the rest it does not really matter.
Because what that's important is the enjoyment,
Enjoy the light, the sight and the night.

- Tyuio ^_^

"Do not let others define you, Define yourself"

Nice day to have, light rain with cool winds, makes people feel like singing.

Haha.. Then again, we wonder, what drives the world? What drives people? What is the thing that makes the world spin?

I believed that the answer is "Desire". Desire is a very powerful force. It changes everything, why do I say that?
Lets start from the beginning, when people are still using bear skin to make clothes, stones to make weapons, what makes them progress to today's condition? Desire, the Desire for comfort, the desire for power and the desire to improve and out do oneself.

Wars are started becouse of the desire for power and prosperity(for small countries) and peace fighters are formed due to the desire for, well, peace of course. One is willing to scarifice to such extend and even beyond that, for a believe so strong that he is willing to trade his life for it (christians should know what i'm saying).
Desire drives people and it brings people down, as seen in the rise and fall of empires.

The desire for knowledge is all powerful. Edison's desire for knowledge and "light" kept his persistance for success even though he failed 999 times, or shall I put it in this way: "I did not fail 999 times, I've just only discoverd 999 ways that it won't work" - Edison on succeeding on his 1000th try. The wright brothers were called lunatics, crazy and absurd and even put away for trying to "fly", "It's not possible for humans to fly" was what the world says but then again the world was proven wrong by the "wright" brothers, through faith and the never dying desire to fly (refer to my "what's right and wrong" from past posts for more contrasts).

The desire for love, emotion and happiness. I've read articles of mothers doing feats of incredible strength in order to save her baby and cases of extreme willpower to overcome illness and death just so as to be able to be with their loved ones again. Can the human body be controlled through desire to produce superhuman results? Can the mind really do that? If it could, one of the best ways is through desire. Have you ever wanted something so badly that you do things that surpass your limit (e.g. olympics where athletes wanted to win so badly that they performed feats of human impossibility). If you looked close enough, the word "Impossible" could be broken down to "I M Possible" through will and desire.

Have you ever heard of this saying "A man without goal is a man without soul"? What the goals represent is simply an image of the man's desire (to succeed, money, fame, happy life), and without it the man would not have progressed so far. Think about it, if man never wanted to have better food, would they have tried so hard to preserve fire, and if man never wanted knowledge, would we have evolved to become the world's most intelligent lifeform? Look at the birds, they have no desire other than to follow their "pre-programmed algorithms", known as instincts. They look for food, hide from predators and reproduce, but never wished that they can build a birdhouse instead of a nest. Or then again, perhaps the signs of migration and adaptation to the concrete forest are forming desires or is it just simply instincts?

"Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary."
Impossible is nothing.

Looking for...


Night falls and the flowers sleeps,
The moon is soft and a maiden weeps,
How I wished for the future I peeped,
For the one whom I could keep?

Stars shine bright in the scarlet sky,
Cool wind blows and sets the clouds aside,
I looked up and wished I might,
For my love to be my side.

Dear my love, I'm lonely as she,
To express my love like she had for me,
I wished I am the venus key,
To be the one that she hopes to seek,
As the destined one, for her to keep,
Let it be now and let it be Me.

Tyuio Ong

Just received information that I'll be revocated.... Haiiii.... so sian.

Here goes today's speech:

Do you believe in fate? Is it just a superstition, a fabric of thought or is it far beyond the human comprehension? Many have tried to understand it, some tried to forcast it, some predicted it and the rest wanted to control it. It is in this time-space that the word "destiny" exist and maybe in a parallel universe that the people had already found the way to manipulate it. The world and time-space line can be seen as an algorithm where events can be calculated through a set of formulat, like flight and orbit, and it seems that almost everything can be calculated: wind speed, air resistance, probability and many more.

If it is so, can we eventually calculate our fate? our life span, disease probability, resistance to viruses or maybe ultimately, our destiny? I believe so but it is definately not in our time or either that the human intellgence can never comprehend the diversity, depth and concept in doing so, maybe we are made this way.
If the future is preordained, then by who and for what? Do we have the power to know, let less control it? Can we ever stop the Sun from dying and changing into a supernova or bypass the genetics that bind us as we are and give us hyper-entity rights?

It is a world full of questions and there are always searches for answers. There is no unanswerable question or else it is not even a question in the first place. There is no "right" or "wrong" in this world we lived in, only the "majority" and the "minority", if most of the people says that an action is right then that is the "absolute right" for that. Take the law for example, if differeny countries, there are different punishments for the same crime comitted: Jail for drug trafficers in the states but death for them in Singapore. If lets say, when the first guy who found out that 1+1=2 says that 1+1=3 then all the formulae we are using now will be rendered useless and "wrong", when 1,2 and 3 are just symbols representing numerics. And numerics are just symbols we use to classify multiple objects, it is not the representation of the object, just in our defination it is. If i take "two" cups of water and pored them into a bigger cup, will that still be 2 or 1 cup? Its just a humand interpretation of numbers around them. I'm not wrong to say its 2 cups of water but neither is it wrong to say 1.

This goes for opinions expressed by others in terms of religion, racial, or maybe even customs. If a buddhist goes to an muslim country, he will be considered an outcast to their the host country in terms of religion even if he is a great figure in a buddhist country. Many avocate being vegetarian but some scientist insists that there are vitamins in meat that they cannot get from plants, even if they have to kill to get the meat, then how about cannibals, if you eat vegetables in their clan, you'll be considered outcast, "abnormal" and maybe even "Food".

This world is full of mysteries and unless we can all get to agree on the same things, there is no way that we can continue on our journey of "fate finding".

So much for today, pls post comments if you find anything I say "wrong" or/and give me your view on this and the past post.

"Whatever you cannot defend doesen't belongs to you"

1st Blog

Whahahaha!!! My BLOG!!!

Thoughts for the day:
Sometimes when u wake up in the night, and can't fall asleep, and when u look out of the window to the sky, would you ever wonder this interesting thought i've been trying to get through all these while?
What the heck is the purpose of us (Homo-sapiens) on earth? I believed that there is a reason for all that is existing. Do we exist just to live, live for the sake of living, or is there a purpose in life, a direction for us to work to. I don't mean getting rich and successful cos that's definately not the purpose of life. Then what is it? What do God create us for? What do God want us to realise and to find out?

It is a very complicating yet simple question, as same to all other living things on Earth. Are cows created just to eat grass and to provide milk and beef? I definately do not think so because when they first roam the earth human don't think of milking them or maybe eating them. Same as humans, we don't come into existance wanting to be rich and famous (there ain't $$ in the prehistoric anyway so that definately isn't our purpose of existance), we pick up our skills (speech, walking, even eating) through learning from others. Then I suppose our purpose here is to discover what "The One" wants of us.

If Darwin's theory is true and we evolved from primates, then is it true that we do so purely to survive or to become more aware (by getting higher intelligence) of what is happening and maybe to realise what's to come and of course "Why we exist?". Although I am unable to provide an answer to that, I believed that it is actually happening in a graph form. Why do i say that?

Lets start from the beginning. When life appears on Earth, we are not clever or technologically advanced so we believed in spirits of nature and supreme being. We worship and thirst for salvation and realise our worth (aka. what is the purpos of our existance?).
Then we advanced. We reached an age of "civilisation" and began to realised the power of science. Then with that, we use it to proof everything on Earth (ghosts, space, GOD) and began to disapprove many of those beliefs. We went for power, wealth, fame and happy life (but no one really knows what's "happy"). Thus, we moved away from the "Absolute".
Now and in future, we are starting to explorer more in-depth into the universe and how we get here. Bio and life science brings us closer to our origin but unfortunately does not bring us closer to know of our "purpose", well at least we can know "how" we get here and as for "why" we are here, I believed that it will soon be noted as well.

Hmmm..if u are still reading till here...u've got good endurence cos not many can understand what i'm trying to say and can't be bothered to understand or consider them.
So much for now...Stay tuned for more of my philosophy.

"How do you embrace the present and reach for the future if you are still holding on to the past? You only got two hands"